I remember the road trips of my early 20's with fondness. A bunch of friends or that special girl jumping into the car at a moment's notice and driving wherever the roads led us. All of these trips being made in questionable cars on questionable tires, we never cared too much and if we didn't return the story would be even bigger! Those were wild and fun times!
Fast forward a decade or so and you're travelling with your kids and the world has changed completely. The one thing I remmebre about my last road trips with my family as a teenager is how much of a non-vacation it was for my parents. But there's no reason we have to suffer the same way!
First things first, find a point in the trip that you can be away from the kids. You love them, but that doesn't mean you don't want to strangle them. Visiting family members is good for this. Usually they haven't seen the little jerks.. err.. darlings in a long enough period of time to agree to babysitting for a date night. If they have good memories, or you're not visiting family, look for hotels with a bonded child sitting service. It's worth it's weight in gold. Also, if budgets permit, suite style arrangements are a nice touch, and help romance out a lot.
Now that we've got a date and possible nookie out of the way, the rest of the trip you need to keep them from either rebelling or eating you. We keep a small cooler and a snack box in the car. I've found it's really hard to complain if you've got a mouth full of food and something to drink. Of course, now that you've fed and watered the troops expect at least one person to need a bathroom every 100 miles.
In our car we have two almost extremes: a two and 1/2 year old and a tween. I fully expect screaming from the first and angst from the second. Remember those old doodle pads? The ones that were a sheet of plastic, and once you lifted it everything dissapeared? Those work brilliantly on 2.5 year olds until they eat them. Consumption rate is roughly 200 miles. Pack accordingly. Rubber snakes make a good stand in.
Now older children are a challenge. They are just smart enough to realize their surroundings are changing but not old enough to realize this is worth being in the car. There are a million techno do-dads to keep them occupied. I don't know what they're called now, but when I was a kid they were called a "window" and if you were a rich kid you had a "walkman." If you've given them a cell phone at this point then you're a bad parent, and deserve the whining you get. Otherwise, if it beeps, boops, bleeps or makes other noises make sure the kids have headphones or that it mutes. Muting is best, headphones are a second choice. If they have iPods, etc, establish a radio control schedule. Yes, their music may suck, but this is a great chance to determine what they are listening to, ask intelligent questions about it, and secretly create a list of CD's to be accidentally scratched or files that get "wiped out by that virus." Worst case scenario, you actually like the music they listen to. It could be worse, they could listen to the music that your parents tormented you with as a child in the car.
For many road trips mean sleeping in the car or camping. Hotels are just too danged expensive. If you're a parent the local authorities generally frown on the sleeping in the car tactic. This means you either have a fancy RV or it's time for some camping. Road Trip Camping is unlike any other camping you've ever done. Basically, you're only there for the night, it's a roadside KOA type affair, and you don't need to worry about trekking gear. If space permits have a parent's tent and children's tent. Other than that it's pillows, sleeping bags and a flashlight. If you are planning on cooking, gather fast food condiment packages. They are much easier to deal with. Additionally keep meals simple and use disposable plates. The time you spend is in cooking the food and then cleaning. If you can be smart about the cooking you minimize the cleaning.
Finally have fun! Remember that the savages will grow up into responsible adults so long as the penal system doesn't catch up with them first. Patience goes a long way, benadryl and dramamine go further. The greatest joys will be in showing your children the world. It just takes a few years of processing before you remember it fondly.
